MWE: Kings Kaleidoscope - Most of It

This is the song that's been on repeat this week

"And when the weight of this journey takes it's toll
You are the joy that moves me beyond control
 I have a confidence deep inside my soul"

Hopes for Granny Me

20's. They say, "the prime time of your life". I agree but disagree.
I read articles all over the internet that remind the young to cherish their moments of youth. Work on building your character. Advance in your career path. Find your identity. Personally, I do think life is so exciting as a 20 something year old. I love the joys of spontaneity, being readily available, the ability to invest in people, and freely enjoy hobbies. I love being able to have energy to expend in service while not be tied down to "big girl" responsibilities. It's exciting that I can have undisturbed focus to pursue God. There is excitement in dreaming and looking forward to growth and learning in the future. All the while agreeing to the beauties of the season of youth, I wish that people could quit buying into the Hollywood influences of youth being the prime time of life.

I think about how few articles I see on how the 40's, 50's, 60's are the prime time of your life. I want to say that every decade is a prime time filled with "prime" things accordingly. Working on building character is an exciting thing not only to the 20's but even to the 90's. So is learning, growing, and placing your identity in Christ. When I look at older generations, I find myself hoping that I will not be so carried away by the troubles and stressors of life. I don't want to be so ruled by the roles of mother, wife, employee that I forget my ultimate task that God has given me as a disciple and disciple maker (intended to be carried out through such roles). While my 20's is a time free to of big responsibilities, I hope I don't make excuses to have a focused pursuit of Christ in the the midst of crazy hectic "life".  One of my biggest fears of growing old is that I will lose the attitude of asking myself, "what more can I do, how can I grow, how can I learn?"

As each wrinkle sets, I hope humility sets in deeper- that I'd seek God's counsel and walk with others at eye level. As bones brittle, I hope to expend every energy left in me in serving others. As memory fades, that aspirations for God's kingdom only grow bigger. As my vision blurs, that the awe and wonder will only heighten.

Lost pup: Love

 Mom always yells at me for bringing lost animals home and my cat Hobbes always suffers anxiety bc of me. I do feel bad. But at this point, I think they're getting use to it too.

Though I didn't want to, I guess I unofficially named her Love. She's definitely filled with lots of affection. With each animal I bring home, there is always the joy of treating the often famished, disheveled, flea-infested animals to holistic care. You feed and clean them up, then give them some lovin. They then transition from uneasy and anxious into their natural, often crazy energetic state. Animals are no different from humans. Genuine care and time builds their trust and rehabilitation.

Look Upward and Outward

* old video but still love it regardless :D

Charlie a cutie pie from church told me, "I'm going to Disneyland this week!" I wish you could see the glow on her face as she twirled around and had the biggest smile across her face.

For a moment, I thought, the Christian life is not rocket science. It's just like Charlie's reaction. Look at your destination, and therein lies joy.

Joy is not
a feeling determined by our circumstances or a careless "just be happy" 

Joy is
a fruit of the Spirit
the gift that we wrestle for against our fleshly complaints
inseparable from faith, believing in what is sometimes contrary to what we feel.
a command: "Rejoice in the Lord always"(Phil 4:4)
looking upward at who God is, what He has done, and where you are headed as a result
"bowing deeply" and living in Him, who is joy

I've been going through James in my devos recently, and I've been reminded to "count it all joy...when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

The natural tendency is for people to look inward when they struggle. We get bogged down by troubles and become tunnel visioned. Christian, we have been given joy but we must continue to fixate our eyes upward and fight for joy. When we are not ruled by difficulties encountered, we are
not enslaved to focus on ourselves. We lose the spiritual glaucoma, and God gives us freedom to love others as we face hardships. Look upward and outward.

March Digest x Jeff Johnson "I stand in awe"

                                                                   
It has been a while, and I haven't updated my blog with monthly digests. So I thought I'd record things that have been wandering in my brain here before I lose them.

Tidbits of sermons:
1. Leaving a legacy to impact this world in a godly manner. Legacy isn't about convenience, but faithfulness. A legacy begins with a deeply rooted identity in Christ. 
Reminded me of what I read regarding Sarah Edwards, Jonathan Edwards' wife. Her own faithfulness naturally poured into her family consisting of 11 children! WOWZA! Her support freed Jonathan to pursue his calling. She left an impression on all those she encountered including the frequent travelers and apprentices in and out of her house. Her descendants are doctors, lawyers, presidents, missionaries, pastors, etc. Take home message: my life is not about just me. How will I be a good steward now, to love and care for the next generation?

2. Change comes from gospel grace through faith and repentance. Repentance is the humility that invites grace in. Worship with and for God is broken when we pursue our idols. We must clearly see the realities and gravity of sin. I rename my sin by calling a lack of love, bluntness. OUCH my heart :O There is a difference between honesty and being hurtful. I'm quick to judge and speak, I need grace and I need to extend grace more. 

Dependence on His Faithfulness

                                             
I LOVE THIS QUOTE AHH

"No dependence can be placed upon our natural qualities, or our spiritual attainments; but God abideth faithful. He is faithful in His love; He knows no variableness, neither shadow of turning. HE is faithful to His purpose; He doth not begin a work and then leave it undone. He is faithful to His relationships; as a Father He will not renounce His children, as a friend He will not deny His people, as a Creator He will not forsake the work of His own hands. HE is faithful to His promises, and will never allow one of them to fail to a single believer. He is faithful to His covenant, which He has made with us in Christ Jesus , and ratified with the blood of His sacrifice. He is faithful to His Son, and will not allow His precious blood to be spilled in vain. He is faithful to His people to whom he has promised eternal life, and from whom He will not turn away."

                                                                 -Charles Spurgeon

Trust: I'm learning about it and seeking it
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. 


I grew up memorizing this verse halfheartedly. But praise God who has spoken through it in this season of life. I found myself constantly repeating this verse to myself lately and has grown close to my heart. 
 
TRUST. Trust in the LORD. Trust in the Lord WITH ALL YOUR HEART. 
When I am not trusting in the Lord, I am being arrogant. Who am I to think I can do things by my own hands? LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. Where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord, does it not? My fears, insecurities, & voids can be filled by this Lord, but why do I find myself at square one every day? I want to learn to live by His guidance and wisdom, and not my own. Follow His will, his straight path. IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM

From lecture I had an aha moment: it's so cool how even in looking at human nature- how we naturally find trust in those who know us, forgive us, love us, are honest with us, all these qualities point to our God. We innately have yearnings for God himself. The people we trust are only a glimpse and manifestation of the God who is truth, who is most trustworthy!

Joy in Suffering